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New Line Cinema |
The poster for New Year’s Eve features not just
eighteen names but eighteen photos of each of the films major stars and
because of this it is clear that the film will rely heavy on just the presents
of these actors. The problem is that five minutes into the film, or even
sooner, it is obvious that this is a film that not only relies on a big name
cast but this is all that it does. New
Year’s Eve may bring some of the biggest names working today into one film
but poor plots, dialogue and characters cause it to quickly become one big,
annoying mess.
Let me try to explain New Year’s Eve’s so called plot.
Recently appointed Vice President of the Time Square Alliance, Claire Morgan
(Hillary Swank), is in charge of the New Year’s Eve Ball Drop but things don’t
go has planned when the ball breaks down and she has to call in legendary
electrician Kominsky (Hector Elizondo). After quitting her Job as a secretary
at Adhern Records, Ingrid (Michelle Pfeiffer) offers a bike messenger by the
name of Paul (Zac Efron) tickets to the record company’s Masquerade Ball if he
helps her complete her list of New Year’s resolutions. Fifteen year old Hailey
(Abigail Breslin) wants to be in Time Square at midnight with Seth (Jake T.
Austin), a boy that she is interested in, but her mother Kim (Sara Jessica
Parker) won’t allow it. Randy, a man that is disgusted with New Year’s Eve,
gets stuck in an elevator with backup singer Elise (Lea Michele). Stan (Robert
De Niro) is in the hospital has he is in a losing battle with cancer but
refuses chemotherapy. Amiee (Halle Berry), a nurse at the hospital, stays with
him during the night.
Super star musician Jenson
(Jon Bon Jovi) makes sure that his ex-fiancé Laura (Katherine Heigl), a chef,
is hired to cater the event he is performing at so that he can try to win her
back. Sam (Josh Duhamel), an employee at Adhern records, debates on whether or
not he should meet up with a woman that he met on New Year’s Eve one year
prior. Expecting couple, Griffin (Seth Myers) and Tess (Jessica Beal) compete
with another expecting couple, James (Til Schweiger) and Grace (Sarah Paulson),
after the hospital announces that the first couple to deliver a baby in the New
Year will receive twenty-five thousand dollars.
You are probably
wondering if these plots are related in some way or not. They are connected by
the tiniest of details. Connections such as a women in one situation is the
daughter of a man in a different situation or a friend from one situation is a
friend to someone in a different situation or a man in one situation is a
brother to a women in a different situation. As you have probably already
noticed, these are relationships that are as basic and uninteresting as the
plots they are a part of. With all its
separate plots that really don’t have anything to do with one another, New Year’s Eve would have been better
off as a mini-series made for television.
The handful of
different situations is not the only reason New
Year’s Eve would fit better on the small screen as it features sitcom-like
dialogue. It tries to be so clever and funny with almost every line but fails
miserably and quickly becomes cringe worthy. Everything is explained and
becomes one of those movies that says so little by saying so much. So I guess
my comparison to a sitcom is not fare to the good sitcoms. If New Year’s Eve were a sitcom it would
be one that would last maybe a couple of episodes or wouldn’t even be picked up
by a network.
The dialogue is hard to
take but the characters are just as bad. If this film was judged by how
consistent it is, it would receive an A+ grade as its plot (plots), dialogue and
characters are equally basic. I understand that it is a romantic comedy and
won’t feature Tarantino or Coen Brothers-like characters but does every one of
them have to be so one note? These characters have one goal in mind and show
one emotion if any.
There are several
characters that are not needed but there is one character in particular that
goes by the name of Piper’s Mom (Beth Kennedy) that is strictly used for comic
relief but could not be less humorous. Her stalking or spying ways are so out
of place and unnecessary that she is by far the most annoying character of the
film which is quite an accomplishment. When describing the cast members,
‘celebrity’ could be used rather than ‘actor’ for most of them but there are three
Academy Award winners among the cast so it would have been nice to see this
talent given at least a speck of something to work with. For example, Robert De
Niro is in a hospital bed for a majority of his screen time and the most
interesting thing about Hillary Swank’s character is that she is afraid of
heights.
If you are looking for
a film that is semi-cute and fluffy and do not want to give much thought to it
than maybe you will find value in New
Year’s Eve but there are plenty of semi-cute and fluffy movies out there
that are much better. The current film industry is all about dollar signs and
because of this movies that feature big name casts and not anything else like
this one does will continue to be made as long as they make money. So I guess I
am grateful that Bon Jovi sings in this one but my hope is that ‘Labor Day’
will offer much more.
Grade:
D-